I used to sell burglar alarms. I had this sales pitch I'd use with the ladies. All I had to do was say 'You need an alarm' - At 3 in the morning, sitting on the bottom of her bed.

Perhaps they could just throw it up and down the street next time.

It has to be disposed of somehow.

Yes. It was noted. Perhaps next time We'll all let you wonder instead of giving you the information you request.

Enjoy your holiday, and remember: In Europe its considered rude to be an American.

First Europe isn't going to care that you're an American. You could be a Pakistani, a Fijian or an Alien, you wont be mentioned on the visa forms so unless you have an EU passport things wont be any easier or more difficult with you being an American.
The easiest way to do this is to apply through the Spanish embassy. Unfortunately this means you'll have to visit Spain and enter Europe through Spain to activate the visa. After this you can go to Italy, Sweden wherever, just not Britain, Ireland, Switzerland or Croatia.

Spain will knock your wife's visa out in 7 - 10 days if its not peak time. You'll have to show hotel bookings and flight information to show that you will enter Europe through Spain, you will have to provide a letter from her employer to show she has annual leave and is intending to return to work after the holiday, and you'll have to supply financial information. If you are applying through Italy bare in mind that they suggest 30-40 days to process the visa, France 14 days. Spain is a lot more welcoming to Chinese and rejects a lot less applications. Italy, Greece, Portugal and Bulgaria take a long time and make the most rejections.
Remember: The embassy that you apply to must be the first place that you enter in Europe. They ideally want you to show that you'll stay in that country longer than any other country that you plan to visit, but in reality so long as you dress your application to look like that then once you have the visa there's nothing to stop you touching down, getting a visa stamp and then going somewhere else.
Also most embassies will issue your visa for the exact stay of your trip. Netherlands and France are a bit more liberal and issue 28 day visas. If your Chinese wife is planning to apply for a visa showing that she'll stay longer than 28 days then forget it, you've got about a 1% chance of getting accepted if you aren't an EU citizen. Also bare in mind that they want you to apply with plenty of time in hand, if you're applying to go almost as soon as the visa is issued then again your chances of getting accepted are lower.
Source: I've travelled in Europe with my Chinese wife on 5 occasions.

That's right go home and get a 10 year visa because of course these are easy to get and given out freely to anyone who asks for one.

I'd contact one of the business councils in China and see if you can apply for a business visa through them. The Sino British Council in Wuhan does this for Brits and the China Zimbabwe business council in Beijing does it for Rhodies.

Also, if you do another visa run don't use an agent, do it yourself. These agents swing in and out of favour with the people in the consulate. Best just do it yourself.