(the small blue one)
If you buy a new moped online as opposed to from a local shop, how would you go about getting it and what would it cost?
Is it a huge deal if you don't have it? Especially if you're a foreigner who can appear to no speaky chinees if stopped?

As of six weeks ago Kunming was still not issuing new ebike registrations. I'm not sure when they stopped, maybe March/April of this year.
You could by a new ebike but it won't be legal to drive, and you'll lose it if stopped. Look for a used one that is already registered/has all the paperwork and save yourself a lot of trouble.

Man. Has this happen to anybody? Has anybody had their electric moped taken?

I really doubt there is anything to worry about. Tons of foreigners and Chinese ride scooters without a license plate. They pass by the police all day and night, and no one ever cares. In order for there to be a crackdown, the government would have to intentionally be making a point.

About two months ago I saw them almost every day at the intersection on Wenhuaxiang and Yieryi during the busy lunch hour, stopping tons of mopeds.

But it's not just there. You see them all over the place, like Xiaocaiyuan, grabbing people and then arguing about what must be impounding the moped.
I guy I know bought his small motorcycle from a police station at an impound auction of sorts.

A seller at the moped mall told me that supposedly it was in the newspaper two days ago that as long as you have a 'national' receipt that proves tax has been paid, the moped won't be taken away.
Of course, you can't trust anything a seller says, and whatever information is in the newspaper is subject to immediate change.

hmmm I hate e-bikes.

@12345 by moped I assume you mean something that runs on gas. You can't legally ride one inside the third ring road I believe.

If its a e-bike you want, with a blue plate try a used one.

By "Electric moped" I meant a moped propelled by an electric motor.
I could indeed get a hand-me-down with a plate, but I want neither a used one nor one that looks like all the mopeds that all the laobiao ride with their brown teeth and Seersucker suits. So I'm kind of stuck with getting a new one out of town.
Ah, the simplest things rendered über-complex in this country.

Yeah, hate """"e-bikes"""" too, but with a car you'd be sitting in traffic all day every day, and a bicycle can't carry much, plus one gets all sweaty.
Motorcycle has the above-mentioned problem of being outlawed within Erhuan, not to mention needing a drivers license, not to mention not being able to ride on sidewalks.
So, """e-bike""" is the only option.
Oh, wait, it isn't, as the guvmint in its infinite wisdom and concern for the little man decided to stop issuing the plates.
god bless this mess.

If you are going to get an expensive stylish ebike, make sure you get good locks and an alarm. Theft of nice mopeds is prevalent.

I would also avoid the temptation of getting a scoot that has been hotted up with higher voltage to make it faster (illegal), as that could be the next thing that gets clamped down on. Additionally, you can only go the speed of the traffic in the cycle lane, and so 60kph is mostly unusable, and it will reduce your range.

Crappy ones get stolen, too, like my last one.
Wow, they even have laws against a plastic piece of crap moped going 'too fast'. 1984.