Guys advertising for sex are looking for women who only want sex. They are not looking for a long term relationship. They are looking for a woman who does not want a long term relationship.

If both sides come into the relationship knowing this then it is a relationship of equals and it works.

Classic example, and lets do a bit of role reversal. An unhappy and unfulfilled married woman wants some attention that her husband no longer gives her, but she does not want to give up the house and the car and the kids education (very common in China). Her ideal partner is a married man who does not want to leave his wife, but just wants sex and companionship. This is a relationship of equals.

Oh! and guess what. It is not just married men who screw around. I have never been unfaithful to my partner. But I have had relationships (plural) with women cheating on their man. Not bragging, just stating a fact.

To answer the OP's question.

If you are looking for a long term relationship - Friendship first, sex second.

What a silly question.

"Yes all foreigners want sex and fun, always and forever. Thats why no foreigner is married, have no homes and they don't make babies because they only want to have fun." ;)
What does it matter where the person is from?

ISn;t it a question of individualism. Everybody is equally different disregarding their culture.
But to answer your question, "No" not every foreigner is like that. Usually foreigners are more educated about sexuality and deal with it more openly but also more careless sometimes. Plus sex it's not stigmatized as it is in China for example.

But Laowai's come in all different 'characters'.

Something very similar to Asians I guess.

Some want fun and some want more, same as every Chinese guys.
Since cultural issues don't really matter at all for your case, just think about what you want in life and take it. If you want fun then use protection and make sure he doesn't break your heart. If you want more, then tell him to buzz off and wait a bit longer to find the right man for you.

Dudeson-out!

Nicy Zhu,

I was very surprised by most of the responses to your question!
I really disagree with most of them, I think they are naive and silly!

First, yes many people DO develop relationships from sex. I have two good friends who had sex on their first date. 9 years later they are still happy, living together, and they just had a baby this year.

The problems is not exactly about "sex first, or friends first".

Because sex can be a way to become better friends, and being friends can be a way to better sexual relations. For some people, sex is a way to know others, and they may feel that doing everything step by step is too business minded, not romantic, and too paranoid . They think romance must involve at least a little bit of risk.

We should also say that most men would want to have sex first (though they won't admit it!), if it wouldn't hurt the woman, because most men access love through sex.

If someone wants to have sex early, it doesn't always mean that they are ONLY just looking for sex. And, you know, some "serious" guys who go very slowly, step by step, may seem responsible, but they can also have other bad motivations-or maybe they are going slow with you because they already have a secret mistress.

So, the answer is that you need to practice judging people! Not by using your ideas of politeness, or by using social customs or standards from your culture. That doesn't work because people have different customs and cultures. Do it by testing his empathy, and by seeing his reactions to others. See if the man really cares about your feelings, if he likes you, sees you as a real person, has a sensitive personality, cares about your safety and and so on. This is not related to how soon he wants to have sex.

I recommend that you stay open to guys who want to have sex early. Try to see if maybe there is a caring part to his adventurousness, or if he really is just selfish and lustful. If you think he might be good and like him, but you aren't ready for sex, show that you are willing to try to become physical. For example by just starting to hold hands after a date or 2, and see how that feels for both of you. Seeing how holding hands feels for both of you can tell you a lot, and also motivate honesty. Some guys who only want sex and nothing else will be scared away by it. Of course, you must do this in a safe environment.

Yea this thread is rubbish. what a lame question. In China a relationship develops from how much money and property the would be husband has.

Chinese people act so naive about sex and yet this is the most populace nation in the world. I saw an ad once in a Beijing site like this from a Chinese female and basically it said:

Found my soul mate. Now need a good sex partner.

Yea, Chinese people are so innocent and pure. This gal has been around the block more than once I am sure. People here have no clue about what people from the west think or do but whatever it is it totally different than the way folks in China do it. Like those "western style" study methods. You know, like we all had in college. Where we never had tests, never had homework. Socialized 100% of the time and they didn't care about cheating. And we usually had sex within the first 10 minutes of a date because we are so "opening" in the west.

@jen

Perhaps your views are those of a woman.
Not of men who have trawled for sex.

Our views are not 'silly', or 'naive'. They are outside of you world view.

Nicy,

I am wondering? Do you have any western friends? Male or female? Any western teachers you may have met in the past? I am also wondering about your age? Are you in early 20s? Mid 20s? Early 30s? The reason I ask is because your age is relevant to this question.

Also, you wrote - I saw a lot of nice handsome guy looking for fun. I am confused. How do you know they are handsome? When you say you SAW, do you mean you actually saw them, met them, or do you mean you SAW their post?

I think it depends on what both parties want.
plenty of Chinese girls have sex on the first date with Chinese men, so I can't see a difference really in the man being foreign.

People need to get past this "Traditional girl facade" on the whole it doesn't exist beyond the most shallow interpretations of marriage for stability and that being a ernai is ok.

just two days off gokunming then back to see so many responses,
i have read each response, they are good points! xiexie!

I agree with TICExpats. For starters, I wouldn't believe a girl that tells me she is still a virgin and wants to remain that way until marriage. For those girls aged under 30 or 35 both in China and elsewhere, this is highly unlikely - they simply make it seem as though they were virgins to "look good" in the eyes of their elders, including parents and relatives etc.

These days I have noticed a trend amongst Asian girls, including Chinese girls, to have sex on the first date or soon thereafter, whereas many western girls are not as "easy" as previously thought; which means many of them won't have sex until much later. If you've ever seen American Pie I you'll realize that even though the girls there are portrayed as horny as hell, the ones which have boyfriends didn't have sex until they "were ready".

Just look at the number of posts here on GoKM about local girls looking for sex to confirm this.

Also, don't always blame the guy. Girls these days are as horny as ever.