@blobbles, I agree with you about your points regarding interaction at home vs. Asia. However, I think that in China people tend to avoid any contact with strangers and don't care about people they don't know (only when they go to foreign countries do they try to seek out strangers due only to the most superficial commonalities). Although when it comes to Chinese people's reactions to foreigners in cities with relatively limited numbers of foreigners (i.e. Kunming) a small number of locals will have strange reactions to the presence of foreigners, which to someone quite self-conscious like me, becomes rather irritating and makes me want to avoid such situations (I'm talking about the hellos (by far the most common comments probably accounting for 90%+ of "interaction"), but also the occasional comments about foreigners that would appear racist or otherwise discriminatory if they were repeated back home).
The presence of foreigners in a given location automatically removes that stigma, because you're not likely to face such comments in areas frequented by foreigners, since people are used to seeing them. Therefore, while there's nothing wrong with being the only white guy in a particular location, for me at least, the excitement and possible feeling of uniqueness is no longer something positive, but becomes annoying because at the end of the day I am not that special, I'm just an everyday guy and why should I be the object of attention when a Chinese person (usually) doesn't receive much attention in the west anymore?
Therefore, if a westerner were to come up to me and start a conversation, I'd be more than happy to engage him/her. Sometimes we forget that living in China is still considered to be a "difficult" environment (especially for a foreigner) and trying to fit in and gain acceptance is not as easy as some people think it is. So if someone, especially a foreigner goes out of their way to be nice, rather than make an unfunny joke like saying "hello!" that's a good thing. Of course it's also an awesome thing if you can befriend locals too.
I've completely blocked out the stares of all Chinese people. I could be walking around buck naked and not now if they were looking or not. An unfortunate coping mechanism, but I've adapted. I literally walk by friends in the street without noticing them, due to my China blindness, forcing them to shout after me as I gaze dumbly around in search of the person. But waiguoren through mess up my flawless system. Like a regular Chinese 5 year old, I can spot a foreigner from a mile away. The urge to stare is overpowering, but I don't want to make eye contact with them. Why should I be racist like the Chinese and stare just because you look different. That's impolite where I'm from. So instead I awkwardly fidget with my phone until they've passed me. I do not look forward to these encounters.
I willfully cross foreigners that I ignore in the street.
As I cross the road I wilfully concentrate on the streams of traffic, cycles, mopeds, ebikes, pedestrians and hawkers using the road, and side walk (legally and illegally). I am too scared to negotiate any additional distractions such as waving to others.
Kunming is a big city, with alot of expats, but also alot of tourists.
Tourists, can be fun to chat with, but many are just looking for a unpaid travel guide/agent. But they are usually good for beers.
Ex-pats on the other hand fall into 3 groups the good, the bad and the ugly.
The ugly, usually found in the expat bars all times of the day and night. Never have any cash and impossible to pin down exactly what they do for a living, usually "consulting" or something as dubious. They are easy to be your friend.
The bad- Mainly medium/long term ESL teachers, that have adopted the narcasstic, backstabing, lying and cheating survival tools of the indiginous population. Reasons, they dont want you coming to their school and looking better than them, so they will just feed you lies or your employer lies.
The good- Fresh off the boat ESL teachers, professionals in other fields than ESL or consulting. Long term settled residents not living in fear year to year.
How can you figure out by seeing someone on the street as to which group they belong to, well a a huge backpack may be a giveaway for the first. But as to Expats it gets more difficult.
So I gave up nodding to others on the street, why...well I dont know them, probably never will, its meaningless.
You dont nod to every everyone you see back home, my chinese wife didn't nod to every Asian she saw on the streets in the years we lived in the USA.
I guess we tend to keep our greetings to people we know regardless of ethnicity, but thats just us.
or you can apply the 3M rule, where people are either Missionaries, Mercenaries,,or Misfits
@TICexpats< You nailed that one for Kunming.
@Yuantongsi< I think that's formula the Chengdu US Consulate applies.
It is always a game of chicken, to see which expat will break first and smile. Both of us feel the urge, but neither one wants to look silly.
The comment by TICexpats was fairly amusing. What lies have you been fed exactly? And in what professions are colleagues virtuous? Stockbrokers? The I.T. industry?
umm.... no lies just years of observation, magnifico, give it a few years and you will reach understanding
