colinflahive
Change "Panda" to "Western tourist" (or "gaoxing"?) and "bamboo shoots" to "MacDonalds" or "Pizza Hut" and you got the story just about right. :D

little "panda porn" or ""little panda porn"?

perverts!

was recently in chiang mai, thighland, where they have a couple pandas. after judicious application of panda porn, they produced a little panda baby named "lin-ping."

a few months ago, the lil feller fell out of his bamboo house and injured his leg. now he is locally referred to as "lim-ping."

I agree, and think the ridiculous amount of money being thrown at Pandas shows that humans are still protecting things because they are cute and not because larger issues of cyclical ecosystem functions and the roles of each species in the wider system. I think we're still missing the bigger picture of a system of survival based on competition and evolution (which means anti-survival species like the pand would die out). Mostly, maybe, because we don't want to be in the cycle ourselves- the most difficult question coming out of that being whether you'd still support the reintroduction of wolves if your child's life were at risk as a result, or whether you'd support saving elephants if they typically ground your farm crops into a pulp. We can throw plenty of money at the pandas but there are so many animals that serve a real function in their habitats but aren't lucky enough to be as adorable.

And sorry about the consulate.

"Chinese conservationists in Sichuan Province reached their goal
of breeding 300 pandas in captivity, despite the fact
that pandas have disproportionately small penises, show
poor knowledge of the only position in which they can
successfully copulate, and are capable of conceiving for
a maximum of one day a year."

@colinflahive
are you now implying that pandas _would_ suck?

I doubt that could even manage that...

But you didn't mention that said 300 pandas were conceived on that one same day - the results of a massive panda orgy. I reckon i'd abstain for the most part of a year if i knew i was going to be involved in a one-off sexual event of such epic proportions. The rest of the time they're probably hanging around wondering why some hairless gimps persist in trying to keep them alive when they could quite easily start taking down various woodland creatures. Plankton are busy floating around being swallowed up. Pandas are taking the piss.

orgy with pandas? hah, i bet gaoxing wishes he never left!!