Would like to know how others deal with aging parents while living abroad.

Have you been "guilt-tripped" into going back home to help out with taking care of aging parents? Did it cause a rift with other siblings who think you're not contributing to family responsibilities, etc?

I think it's a useful topic. My initial reading of the title was how to deal with ageing Chinese in-laws. Not what the OP intended, perhaps, but still something I find a daily challenge. There does seem to be an awful lot of cultural expectations about care for the elderly. I have a question - are

there widely used "old people's homes" / "residential care centres" in China? I understand the family usually look after older family members, but there aren't always a lot of family around.

I don't think this topic is off limits. As Ocean mentioned, it's a useful topic to get a feel of what other are going through.

I don't think it is off limits, as the third parties are not named.
I had a similar thing two years ago. My father was terminally ill with cancer, but he asked my brother not to tell me, until the final days. My brother's wife was not happy, but she never is.
If you are a student or traveler in China, perhaps you should go home. If you are working here, what follows are my thoughts about what might apply.
If you have no family commitments here in China I can see some family members think that you are shirking your duties. From personal experience, I would not let their resentment leverage guilt. That is their strategy, and IMHO an unpleasant one. I also know that family members like that will probably be on your case no matter what you do.
Even if you are single, you have built a life/job/career here. To expect you to just give it all up is more unfair.

Also, if you give up your job here, and go home, you will be unemployed and unable to assist financially. Even when you do find a job, you will have other settling in costs.
If you do have a family life in China, your first responsibility is here.

Probably the most effective way you can contribute is to send money home to help pay for a carer. You will be criticized for being selfish, but you will get that even if you go home.

@dolphin

Whichever decision you make, be mindful of the adverse feelings that buoyantly surface from the past when associating with negative memories...

like a third-person spectator, don't judge or respond to the stream of thoughts & emotions... just observe from a selfless POV... this mindfulness will steer clear distractions of mental noises, usually negative in nature, and optimize decision-makings obscured by the deep subconscious.

Be aware that your present being is an unbroken life continuum that stretches for billions let alone millions of years. The realization that you are the embodiment of your parents, your parents are of your ancestors, and that lineage of distant ancestors are in you and all around us in a planetary tree of life... the internal conflicts harbored by the mind will lessen its grip. Whichever path you take, you'll be able to walk it with a fuller sense of gratitude and completeness.

I'd want that for my kinds and my future descendants. To be free of mental burdens, however right or wrong they may be socially perceived.

Seems to me the issue varies so much from individual to individual case that no general solution is likely to be appropriate.

Well if you're just hanging out in China or doing the language lesson travel explore plan, and a brother or sister back home has to take care of your elderly parents and experience all the extra time and expenses and stress that can cause, well, yes, you're shirking your duties. If you're just not at a point in your life to go back and help, then you should offer some future commitment to help or earn some extra money to send to the sibling caretaker. But as Alien says, it's going to be different for every individual case.

Another factor is whether or not you are on good terms with your parents. Many families in America are dysfunctional. Also finance is also a big issue. Many foreigners are just surviving and sending money is not an automatic option.

There are just too many factor for each individual to consider.

Thank you very much. Your comments are very helpful. Very insightful comments.

edit: @Ocean, one arrangement I have seen is parents live in the same apartment complex as the children, but have their own private apartment.

edit 2: @Liuming, yes probably most families are dysfunctional. George Burns had a great joke ... "happiness is a big happy family ... in another country." But it's (arguably) unethical not to care for elderly parents.