@ The Dudeson's And if you can read a little Chinese, check out the post, [mainland] Chinese write about travelling and living abroad. Compared to those, the strongest wording here on gokunming, is sweet talk." So true. One can find the opinions of places like the US, Britain or Australia by the Chinese students living and studying there and they are much harsher than what you find here, even though those places are bending over backwards to try and help those students blend and in and improve their language skills, usually for no money. They hate anywhere the mother tongue is not spoken and where their own local foods cannot be found every ten steps on the sidewalk. I even read some criticism from Chinese students that the faculty and other students in the US are too polite. Really. Too polite, always trying to help. They hate it. And one thing they really hate is when someone (ready for this) ASKS THEM WHERE THEY ARE FROM! God knows I never get asked this here.
I do not have to supply a valid topic in order to get a passing grade from your pompous rump on my forum thread. I will settle for an F and move on.
There is another form of lying that is pervasive in China and I think that people who are married are more likely to encounter it. This is the phenomenon of the huge promise. Typically a person you just met makes a huge promise, which they do not have the ability or the interest in ever fulfilling. they can get you a job or find you a cheap this or that or hook you up with powerful people blah blah blah. What then happens is about 2 weeks or a month later they call you up and they want a favor, usually a large one and often it involves borrowing a large sum of money. When you try to get out of it they are nonplussed since they made you such a big promise only a few weeks ago. As if by virtue of the fact they made the offer it is the same as having already fulfilled it.
I will cite example in the hopes that Alien LaoShi will approve, since his approval of me and my posts here are so vital to my happiness in life. All from the last year: Two people (our friends but of a marginal part time type) need between 30 and 40 RMB. A "loan" To pay off their apartment bank loans! As if it is our responsibility to do that. we owe on an apartment too, why don't they help us? But I save the best for last.
When we were in Shanghai and old friend of my wife's calls her and pushes a diner. Things seem fishy and my wife asks what is up. She needs 250,000 RMB to pay off her apartment loan. My wife says she has to talk to me (a trick we learned) and the friend says no no no, do not talk to X, he will say no. Just come to dinner. She will pay for dinner and then they talk about it, the old dinner ruse. The rest of the calls from her went unanswered. it is another form of low life lying and cheating that is simply endemic and pervasive here.
Don't immediately count on the fulfillment of huge promises - Chinese people don't. But I'm familiar with the syndrome that, once something has been discussed and roughly planned, there tends to be a feeling that the job is already about half done. Had a Cantonese friend once who said: You know, sometimes I wish we were more like the Japanese".
This amazed me, hadn't heard it before from a Chinese person - I go "Wha...??")
"We Chinese make a lot of plans, but the Japanese actually DO them."
I had a huge laugh. Point is, however, that this tendency is not quite what might be called 'lying'.
Can't see the problem with 30-40 kuai - did these guys lie to you?
Your final example sounds like maybe some kind of con, yes, but I don't see the 'lying and cheating' you refer to. sure she didn't really just want to borrow some money? Anyway, glad you're not a sucker.
Amazing how most of us seem to get along with all the horror you portray.
Nice people [treating other nice] are being seen as weak by Chinese society. And thus are [more] often victims of scam attempts.
Actually, I would go so far to say being nice, in China, equals STUPID of MORONIC proportions.
I know what Zhudan is talking about, we have customers occasionally sitting on our steps, telling us we should give them money, [even blackmailing us] as well of people recommending us, people they talked to and met online, for our [policy] mistake of listening to anyone, with their problem. Because, we think that most problems can be fixed with a good strategy. But again some people hear that, we help for free, and think we are retards and give away money.
When a Chinese says can you lend me .... Yuan, what he really means is can you give me .... Yuan.
On top of it all they'll expect the loan with no interest.
There's banks on every corner, refer anyone looking for a loan to one.
Never a borrower nor a lender be.
my answer is dont ask me for a loan as f**k off often offends
thats two threads with the word syndrome in it now ;-)
@ Alien Sorry, my mistake in typing, the requested "loans" were for 30 to 40 THOUSAND RMB. Do you see a problem with that or is that the norm too, cultural difference deal. Regarding the lady in Shanghai wanting over 200, 000 she assured my wife we would have it back in 6 months to a year. I told my wife if that is the case she can just pay her apartment off in 6 months to a year with the money she would use to pay us back. You're a genius, that must make sense to you, right? That is when the dinner with just my wife came up and leave me, and my stupid logical ideas, at home. Yea, she just wanted to "borrow" some money in the sense of we give her money and she promises over and over to pay it back until there is no use in asking then she moves on and life and leaves us in the dust. A promise does not mean a deal is half done when the promise is coming from a Chinese person who has a special gene for lying and cheating and thinking the world owes him or her everything for free. The deal is half done in the sense the Chinese person has an idea and a plan, and now you (the loaner, can be a foreigner or another Chinese as Chinese people are typically the target since 99% of the people cannot speak enough English to swindle a foreigner) back up their hair brained notion with cash. What have they got to lose? There is a lady who still owes us 2000 DOLLARS. What a liar and cheat she was. She has the unmitigated gull a year later to call my wife and wanted to "borrow" more money and she will pay us back all the money later. But first she needs this money to start an online "business" and she needs my wife to run it for her. How can a person make this stuff up! I have more examples man. I'll save some for the next cup of coffee. Next maybe we can send them your way, you being a generous type and all and understand all the cultural nuances the rest of us do not.
Are 100% Chinese like this? Of course not, there are wonderful generous Chinese people, they are the ones constantly being victimized by the ones who are. Thugs and goons man. With no sense of shame or guilt. They go to bed thinking to themselves "what a clever person I am. Such a good business man/woman/thing."
Seems she has already lied to you, right? Or is she just slow repaying her debts?
At any rate, I wouldn't lend that much money to anybody who already owes me money, in any country.
