I want to move to another city, but my boyfriend doesnt want to, what should I do...
I want to move to another city, but my boyfriend doesnt want to, what should I do...
Follow your heart. You are young only once while there are many fishes in the sea. Live life with no regrets.
maybe he want you to go, you asked him? without the emotional leverage?
Why do you want to leave to another city? Is there something you really want, or really need, to get ahead in life, or some other fulfillment there?
Or is it just out of comfort, or for entertainment [change of colors]?
How do you see the future with him? In the new city, or in in the old one?
What can, or could he do there?
These are some of the questions, you should ask yourself.
Often moving to another city, if not asked/forced by your employer, -is a subconscious urge for a breakup.
Something we tell ourselves, [the move], so we wouldn't feel guilty.
In my time it happened 3 times, the woman I loved moved, and a few month later the relationship went down the gutter.
So, take all the noise away from your thoughts, and find the reason why you really want or must leave to this new place. If it's for your future, advancing your life's dream, there is no question,...YOU HAVE TO go and do what you want and love to do. Finding the thing you want.
If it's just to see a new place, then this can be very hurtful for a partner. Basically it would, tell him, that you are bored and that the relationship doesn't mean much to him, beyond your own entertainment.
I don't know how much you feel for each other, but you put the question on the table and you need to get the root of his intention and yours, to move, or stay together.
If the relationship isn't too serious, then you still have to make a hard decision but the wounds wouldn't be too deep, if you'd separate over the move.
I think you should talk to him, very openly and honestly, what you want and he should tell you very honestly, what his plans are.
Sometimes, that already helps to see where both partners stand and automatically evaluates the relationship and its possible future.
Hey, the Dudeson's aren't you the guy that made the life changing choice to come to China and feel stuck and can't stand it here?
@vicar...
your words, -not mine.
Read what I wrote,....again.
Find the definition for the word stuck.
...yawn!!!
@vicar
...oh, damn! yeah you are right! So...-@Judy, I have to take it all back I am not allowed to try giving advise, I dislike China too much. So the AUGMENTED SUNSHINER'S won't allow it! ;D
last time i took relationship advice from a vicar i woke with a sore but and feeling guilty
Stuck means unable to move further.
I'd rather ask Will Smith and his wife for advise on who should be nominated for an Oscar this year.
I agree with TheDudeson's 100 percent. Very good advice. @Nicy Zhu If you are a Chinese national and your boyfriend is a foreigner, I can see why he might not just want to up and go. It's a hassle for us foreigner to move and start again. There are many things we don't know to be able to give you sound advice. If you are not married and not serious about your relationship I would move and discover what lies beyond Kunming.