After almost 5 years in China I'm starting to realize something. Correct me if I'm wrong but this is how it seems to me:

If a man meets a woman and after a few weeks/month starts enjoying her and her presence and tells her he "likes" her. Boom, crash and burn. Most often than not the girl stars pulling away and the relationship doesn't progress.

However, and this is the trend often seen with chinese men, if the man doesn't say anything and pretends not to be too interested, wow, the girl falls in love and we may have a succesful relationship here.

No wonder chinese men are withdrawn and a lot of it is seen coming out when they get drunk, all of which they have repressed. It seems to me that this repression is encouraged by the females themselves, ironically.

Anyone here had any similar experiences ? Or even an divergent ones?

I am not sure I agree. I personally find most Chinese, men and women, to be polite and a bit reserved, until they know you, and then they become *very* emotional lol.

I don't have experience with dating Chinese men, but not showing emotions (that are related to romance) is a cultural thing in China.

As for men showing disinterest to a girl they are interested in to make them more attracted, that's a universal pick up trick, not only a Chinese one.

And why would any man or any woman for that matter, in a densely populated society, walk around advertising their personal emotions publicly?

In Asia, it's considered uncouth.

Finally - the sweepingly grand statement "in China" is about as specific as stating, "European men cannot show emotion". Although the author states living in China for five (5) years - apparently it's still not long enough to notice China is NOT a homogeneous society - despite the fact we all probably look alike - however Chinese can notice differences based on speech, clothing style, physical presentation style, size, facial features, name, etc ad infinitum - the same way "europeans" all look alike to asians - yet europeans can discern differences based on clothing (fashion, cut, style), accent, fashion (haircut, style, glasses, demeanor, etc).

In this country - it's not about WHAT one says, it's more about HOW it's said and the associated innuendos. As for romance - in general everyone loves a bit of mystery in a relationship - adds to the excitement.

Fishing isn't a cast and reel sport, nor is dating unless one is into speed dating and mass hookups (aids candidate). Savor the experience, the emotional roller coasters (as long as it doesn't devolve into a mentally or socially debilitating experience), and enjoy the game. Some prefer shorter romance periods, others extended. It's all good...but please quit trying to stereotype Chinese people into a single mold, as though five years of experience living in a few cities justifies one as a subject matter expert on key cultural and social behaviors.

an incredibly boring post there Laotou

I'm an incredibly boring person...

@laotou

An interesting post I thought. U r one of the few whose posts I bother to read. U r not negative and angry all the time like many here. Good for u!

chinese men often stare at me over their shoulder for 10 minutes on the side of the road. it's creepy. i never stopped to stare at another man in my life.

and laotou is not boring.

get that int he mens room too

@daithi
Actually, I'm a very angry and negative person - occupational hazard.