"IF" A term I often use that seems to have a differnt meaning to my Chinese friends then my intended meaning. My thinking is its a maybe. I have not decided. It depends. Sort of, if-then, thinking on my part. I get a resonse back from them, thinking that I have made a final decision or offer. This is never the case. Ruguo in Chinese is often the translated meaning, if, in case, or in the event of. Perhaps the wrong word?
I think ruguo is closer to "on the other hand" than if in chinese in most situations. Try using maybe or possibly instead; you'll have to change the phrasing of course.
I have added "MAYBE", in capitals, and "possibly", on occasion with similar results. Perhaps "I do not know" is better. Its seems to me in this case, miscommunication is frequent leading to assumptions where both parties have mistaken understandings.
Miscommunication - Assumptions - Mistaken understanding - All a byproduct of unclear communication. I recommend you stop using this term IF and be more direct and make more sound and timely decisions.
If and Maybe are terms I really dislike as they are often used by Chinese who are cowards when it comes to communication and who often make promises they can not keep. When I hear these terms I know what they really mean is NO.
Say what you mean and Mean what you say.
he cant speak chinese, yet butts in. you truly understand coward chinese but cant order a big mac at mcdonalds.
HFCAMPO I'm 24 years old, but would love to meet up and have a chat. If you're free shoot me a message, can grab some lunch or coffee at a chinese owned business.
www.gokunming.com/en/forums/thread/8877/no_party_in_kunming
Some people can't handle rejection - Grow Up! Another ignoramus who claims he knows me yet never met me. It is better to be thought a fool then open your mouth and prove it.
Some problems here with using IF, Possibly and Maybe is waffling and trying to accommodate every ones needs by the person using these terms. Not being able to say NO is another. I also think that for some reason when using If and Maybe in China the other person reading this makes an assumption favoring what they want to hear not what you say.
From my experiences, HFCAMPO is right about the Chinese being unable to directly tell the truth if it means 'losing face'. What they don't take into account is that the truth will eventually come out and then they will lose even more face. Perhaps this system only continues because people save each others face all the time by not calling each other out on their lies.
Grammar question leads to foreigners insulting Chinese - really great, folks.
@HFCAMPO, "Say what you mean, and mean what you say," is a cultural ideal that applies to some parts of the US, and some parts of the world. However, in many other cultures, not embarrassing people, or preserving harmony, is considered more important than little white lies. It is a cultural matter, not a universal truth.
