I would like to discuss freedom here. This word is little too generalized. Then I will pick up some words to make my topic more specific. It's like, in China, parents get involved in our lives too much compare to the parents in the western countries. I am confused about why Chinese parents always care about so much about their children's lives, they even tell them what to do and not...sometimes, they take totally control of it. But why parents in the western coutries are more relaxed, positively, they take this as a part of respect. But oppositely, most of Chinese parents will be so pissed off, if their children go against them. How westerners get along with their parents but do not lose respect and responsibility to the parents? I wonder whats the reason make western and Chinese culture so different?
China's history is loooooooong! America was built on freedom. Freedom of speech, religion, etc. This is part of our culture. In China the one child policy makes the parents more protective of their investment on their child. Therefore they feel the need to be in their business 24/7. They want to make sure that their children have more opportunities then they had. The American family has broken down a lot. There are too many parents unfit, unwilling or just plain don't care about their kids. This give the kids more freedom to get into trouble and start doing sex, drugs and other nasty things at an earlier age.
The way I and many fellow westerners see it, children do not belong to their parents. All parents need to do is love their children and give them the skills to look after themselves, they don't need to control their lives once the child has enough skill to live their own life.
There is something very nice about close knit Chinese families. Where I object to it is when parental disapproval gets in the way of love. A friend of my girlfriend has fallen victim to this. Because she wasn't from the same city and was 2 or 3 years older than him, her boyfriend's parents disapproved of their relationship. She is now going to marry another man, despite still loving the first guy and he perhaps still loving her. Tragic.
which part is tragic? that the parents interfered? or that she listened to her parents?
the whole situation dude! If you read it again you'll see that her parents were not involved in the story at all. Shows how closely you read before responding.
How is that different from how White/Western parents disapprove of their son/daughter's relationship, except perhaps the way they show that disapproval, which may sometimes be a lot more violent and threatening than the disapproval of Chinese parents? I know people who pointed hunting rifles at the boy their daughter was dating simply because of the fact that he wasn't fully White. Recently, I got news from one of my good friends back home, a mixed Black guy from a good family who's currently dating a White girl. After learning that her boyfriend was "Black", her father proceeded to beat her. I know quite a few other similar events that happened to family or friends of mine. The recurring pattern was mostly always parents of the Western son/daughter who showed disapproval in one way or another.
I'm not sure what's more tragic between strictly voicing disapproval or showing it through physical violence.
For those who don't already know: Western does NOT = U.S.A.
NB. Not sure precisely what 'western' does mean but I know it's used commonly by lazy journalists.
sorry what i mean is that the most tragic part is that so many of the children here feel that they have no choice but to do what the parents decide for them.
it may be true in some cases, for a period of time. maybe when you're too young or not financially independent. but eventually, you have to come into your own and make your own decisions.
also, you need to break the negative family pattern and not repeat the same mistakes with your own children.
What the reason is that makes cultures different from each other, including China and all the countries that are lumped together as 'western', is to be derived from long studies of history and culture. The question is okay, but the answers are many.
Also, it's probably a great mistake to assume that Chinese culture is one thing and that 'western' culture is another - I know Americans who imagine that the USA has a single culture and that the other culture in the world is 'foreign culture'.
If you can ask this question in such a simple way, it probably indicates that you haven't done your homework - after doing your homework you'll realize what's wrong with the question.
Australian parents are pretty laid back raising their children...and most things really - must be in our DNA ! We let our kids walk around with no shoes all day and night, babies and toddlers swim in seas filled with poisonous and deadly creatures.... In our case, I think our landscape and relaxed culture has informed our parenting style.
