So it’s Sunday, the sky is annoyingly blue and the feathered choir are seemingly practicing Cacophony in C Minor outside your window. Maybe Lord Beer and Lady Tequila scribbled their names on your dance card too many times last night and your brain feels like a herd of elephants used it as a cushion for their annual Who Can Sit Down the Heaviest Contest, but you know that moving about and getting fresh air is good for what ails you. The gym is inside, running is anathema and albeit yoga is fantastic, you just can’t deal with trying to do the Two-Legged Unicorn Saluting the Rainbow Pose right now. Fear not! You can instead come to the Spring City Yoga Collective, don proper fencing equipment and learn the basics of the noble art of foil fencing. It is fun, moderately cardioesque and you get to stab your opponent with a sword.

Just think of all those halcyon days of yore when the biggest concern of the day was which of your friends got to be D’Artagnan and which the Cardinal’s guards. That is how much fun this event can be.
You don’t have to bring anything, except preferably sneakers and a desire to learn how to gracefully and politely run someone through with a three-feet long blade. And seriously, who amongst have not had days where we wish we could still throw a glove on the floor and shout “Swords at dawn, you ne’er-do-well blackguard varlet!”?
All equipment will be provided by the teacher and it is all proper fencing equipment: Kevlar tunics, iron-grill masks, and quality blades. The only way anyone can get hurt is if they fall and scrape their knee.
Members of the Spring City Yoga Collective can join for free.
Non-members can donate whatever amount they want and this will go to make life just a little better for a group of orphans.
So exercise, fun, swords, fresh air and doing something good. The only way I can think of making this event any more enticing is by bringing a Bloodhound puppy wearing a Sherlock Holmes costume. I have neither of those but it’s a cute image, right?