Spot on tiger! My concern is exactly a balance issue. I want my boy to acquire solid education which rote method is necessary and plays a rather important role, and discipline, parental guidance are both vital elements in children's education too. My plan is to have my boy studies in Kunming while I am there, and bring him back to the States when he is 14 or 15, since he doesn't have to compete for a university spot in China, I don't want him experience cutting-throat competition Chinese style. So my balance issue entails stress level, pressure intensity, enjoyable after-school activities and keeping up with his first language- English.
And loutou, I understand you have children going to public school. I'd like to know how do they adapt to the rigid one way instilling education method there? Or have they ever experienced the fun, relaxed and stimulating learning environment in the States? And do you feel comfortable to let them face the crushing stress and stifling pressure from their teachers and competitive classmates? What is the alternatives there? KIA?
The reason I want to know all these is because I am considering coming to Kunming for a long term stay starting next year. I have a boy who will be seven by then. He is in a Chinese immersion elementary school here in the States. The thought there might not be an accommodating school in Kunming has weighted heavily on my decision of going or staying.
Though I must admit I myself was educated under the unpleasant Chinese school system, but there was no choice back then, whatever harm or merit it had done to me, I somehow feel I would be doing a big disservice to my boy if to put him through what I had been.
It is vain trying to make a cultural quarrel here. As Jonny9 acutely pointed out, the SwedishGuy' problem is largely a financial one rather than a cultural one. Lylian's comments only muddle up the cultural aspect of this issue into absurdity. (Forgive me if I offended you, didn't mean it. Only want to participate in the debate.)
Like laotou said, what is exactly Chinese Culture here? To separate or alienate a child from his parents? It is unacceptable in any culture except in extreme circumstances. The true Chinese culture has long gone except the empty rhetoric and colorful symbols. Buddhism or Taoism or Confucius would have done good deeds with Chinese culture if and only if Chinese people would have actually minded them, but they only mind them with their prayers asking for fortune and good luck. Then what's left is the confusion of monetary driven yearning and practice, as Jonny9 termed it "lucky combination".
Back to SwedishGuy again, he must work with his wife, to unite their own family or to break it, only two of them can make it happen. If both of them are truly committed to each other, they should be able to overcome any difficulties, be it financial or cultural, in Kunming or in Sweden. When truly committed, human souls are without cultural boundary.
I have lived in both east and west side of "culture" for a long time, I have seen many interracial marriages, some of them are in excellent conditions, some of them are broken down, just like family scenarios in any part of the world. It's about individuals, not about culture. So don't mix culture with individual mentality, they are different things.
By the way, as the older generation, my mom and dad never thought women should stay at home wait on their husbands, even my mom herself was never a stay home mom, not because of financial reason, it's just her independent and assiduous spirit. Are we talking about "Culture" now?
The only most important document you must obtain from outside of Kunming is the proof of singleness as mentioned above. American embassy/ consulate makes you swear your single status in writting, they simply notarize your signature. That's how this piece of document is produced. I think Brits won't do much differently.
The style of the wedding can be very different, depends on where your fiancee comes from. If she is from rural area, the wedding could be very traditional, lengthy, tiresome but splendid all at same time; If she is from a city, the wedding can be a lot more flexible, your fiancee's family will take your consideration more seriously, therefore the wedding can be a lot more quiet or moderate. I have known some one married a local in a short ceremony, followed by a dinner party of 4 tables consisting only family members and very close friends.
Buying presents for close relatives is an act of courtesy and respect, not necessary an expensive bribery, and again it differs greatly from family to family, so you should discuss that with your fiancee.
So, if I get it right, you are moving from Chendu. Then it shouldn't be hard to figure. The cost of living in Kunming should not be higher than Chendu, if not cheaper. As you can imagine, the rent will be the biggest part of your monthly budget. depends on how you want to rent, a shared 2-3 bedroom apartment with others or a small apartment all on your own will cost you from 500 to 1500 kuai. The food bill, like you said, mostly Chinese food and eating out, would probably cost around 500 to 800, with occasional self indulgence at, let's say Sundra's. The transportation 150 (bus fare + Taxi), internet services 150, mobile phone? ?, well, I should say with 2,200 kuai, you can make a comfortable but basic living in Kunming. I am sure others will soon input their budget ideas.
Enjoy your stay, hope you will like Kunming like I do.
Cheers.
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