@Alien
No. I never said that. Just expressing what happens in a lot of cases and why it's hard to have 'local friends'.

I ain't trying to change anyone or anything. Whatever works for you.

OK. 'Bye.

Short answer - of course. But as in Chinese culture, western culture "friends" also has many definitions, from close friends to people who either recognize me or vice versa - for me, usually I rarely recognize people I've met casually.

Being a good friend and having an equitable relationship is the same everywhere - there're reliable and there're unreliable people. I also fall into both categories, depending on the strength or closeness of the relationship.

In those extremely rare cases when people try to use me to spontaneously practise English, invading my space, peace & tranquility, or feng shui - if I can't be bothered, I'll usually respond in some foreign language - spanish, german, french, japanese - that usually works wonders for politely, but effectively doffing the approach and it's great for the shock factor and or self amusement.

As for business - I believe in general, business across the world (at least the parts I've been working in professionally) has degraded significantly. Contracts are unreliable, negotiations unreliable, implementation thoroughly sotted with attempts to defraud, cheat, and steal. One must be constantly vigilant and always have both the ability and the inclination to enforce strictly, but fairly.

I've frequently witnessed friends hire friends, only to be severely disappointed when they don't exhibit the diligence and work ethic they'd assumed friends would exhibit. Chinese history is full of such examples, when generals would go off to war - friends would pile onto the bandwagon, assuming military law doesn't apply to them - only to be rudely surprised when their "best buddy" publicly executes them, as a stern and usually incredibly effective warning to all ranks and files.

This isn't limited to Chinese history. Henry V (famous play and movie, for those who can get past the pseudo-shakespearean English), executed (hung) some of his best friends (from his younger rowdier days), when they violated his well-known military rules, during his invasion of France (sic Kenneth Branagh - the actor).

While working for US multinationals and startups, I've witnessed incredible frauds (in the hundreds of millions of dollars to billions of dollars), dodged bullets as the attempted or designated fall guy, and been fired for refusing to "play along" with frauds, felonies (fraud, waste, and abuse on federal contracts), and all sorts of HR shenanigans, all while doing my job to the highest caliber of professionalism.

In most cases, alleged friends, staff, etc distance themselves faster than one can cry "leper" or "dog fart", with extremely rare cases of professional and personal friends standing by me (with me) as true friends - they were in the same boat - so friends in misery, I suppose.

I've helped executive friends start their own businesses, after being cheated out of employment contracts, and then been ostracized (leper) and had other friends return the favor with life-saving consulting contracts.

I've protected staff from corporate politics (to include shutting down the entire division), trained them - and generated zero loyalty -and in retrospect - negative loyalty (traitorous insects).

Both in business and personal life - I've learned to look for minute details in behavior to determine the reliability of "friends", management, staff, etc. I'm frequently accused of over-analyzing (professional occupational hazard), exaggerating miniscule perceived behaviors into mountainous presumed future risks - but I'm rarely mistaken. To quote the old joke, "I thought I was wrong once, but I was mistaken."

Do I have friends in China - I can count them with the fingers on one hand...and not use all my fingers...

Skipping all those dialect problems and issue with term 'friends' I wonder what is the suitable topic for conversation with those friends? I just find a difficult to find anything common ( and I do really want ) to talk about, apart of buy things and eat things :/(

@alexez
Perhaps this is too materialistic or mercenary - but if you have a passion for something - then look for "soul mates" with a similar passion. Incubating relationships to achieve your ultimate goal in life, for mutual benefit, since your friends share the goal.

I think it's quite normal that can't find topics for conversation with some people no matter where you are. As a local I face the same problem as some of you, some of my Chinese friends think I'm weird and boring since I like to read and talk about many things which they don't like. As a foreigner in Thailand, some Thais think I'm too curious to talk with me, because I want to know more Thai culture and make friends with them.

I don't smoke or drink and that too is a problem. Many males smoke and I'll be damned if I gonna spend time chatting in second hand smoke with a bunch of stone Kunmingers. I't just not my cup of tea.

I smoke like an oil refinery. Great for clearing tables at bars, pubs, and discos - then get rid of me...

"Sorry non-american/non-English English is so painful to your ears"

As native English speakers, Trinidadians, Jamaicans and Barbadians sound very pleasant to my ear.

"what does American sound like to others?"

American is the KunmingHua of English.

hey there, im a local people, i really want to make friends from different countries in KM. I have three years living and studying in Australia, and got my master last year, so it will be nice to have foreign friends in my hometown. Just let me know if anyone want to make friend with me, we can learn each other,also I will very happy to be your local guide.