I second what @JJ Janice said. It has been wonderful for us. The challenges between the cultures is both frustrating and fun (more fun of course). A lot has to do with your expectations. Some men want a slave for a wife. Me, I prefer a partner in life. I've definitely found my 'soul mate'. Temperament is also important. Having a lot of patience from both sides will make it a great journey. Haven't been married as long as JJ but personally, I feel I'm the luckiest guy alive to have meet this gem of a pearl. So the bottom line is: International relationships DO work. It's up to YOU.

@Ocean: "I'd like to know if there are any Chinese men out there with western partner/wife. Does it ever work well that way round??"

There sure are. My Chinese grandfather met my Western grandmother when they were in their teens. They were married for 51 years and had 14!! kids before my grandfather passed away. They are probably the couple I look up to and admire the most in terms of fidelity, determination and family commitment. Even in the 20 years after, my grandmother hasn't gotten into another relationship and still talks about my grandfather as if they had just been dating.
Our family is very international and I was completely unconscious and oblivious to race, nationality and religion in my past relationships. Then I eventually became aware of all that when I came to China.

In terms of Chinese or Asian men in general dating Western women, these kinds of relationships face much more familial reluctance and societal challenges and pressure. First there's the well-known physical issues, but also the weighing demand of the Chinese family for their son to specifically marry Chinese, which my grandfather faced, and then there's the reluctance of the Western society (obviously only partially, but still present) to accept these kinds of relationships. I have had the chance to have never encountered those issues, but some of my Chinese and Asian friends and family members have. A high-school friend was even greeted with a hunting rifle pointed to his face by the father of his current wife when they were only dating. He was then circled by her brothers who dragged him away from their home. The mother fortunately talked some sense into them and the couple is now married, have a kid and decided to immigrate to Canada, away from the father and brothers. Some of my male cousins and uncles who have Western girlfriends of wives and have some Chineseness in their looks are also constantly subject to racial bullying and distasteful remarks in public places. Interestingly, those who look Black don't face those issues. I think The Dudeson's previously mentioned that he got the same kind of remarks because his girlfriend was Chinese and he was Westerner. In any case or place, it's mostly guys who have a hard time accepting to see "one of their own" girls go with another guy (even if in many cases, the girls are complete strangers), and the mainstream media is unfortunately still encouraging this way of thinking.

@Ocean: Yes, my Jiangsu province wife and I have been married now for over six years and we have weathered much together during that time. I am lucky to have her in my life and thank the gods she is not one of those Chinese drama queens who throw tantrums in public. She is leveled headed and well educated and my harbor in the storm.

I believe international relationships work just fine, as long as you are in the same country. I have many friends who are in mixed race relationships and the only one that didn't work out, was the one that was mostly online. My friend met his wife while she was in Canada, on business; they hit it off and kept in contact. This turned into a multi-year, online relationship, until he went to the Philippines and married her. Then she went to Canada, at which point she became a different person and the two of them are now miserable together. So, yah that didn't work out so well, but it's a very different situation then living in the same place while dating.

I myself am a Canadian who married a Kunming girl last March and we couldn't be happier. As others have touched on, dealing with the in-laws can sometimes be... challenging and cultural differences make for interestingly contrary points of view at times, but those differences keep things fun. One of my favourite things is introducing my wife to things that China just doesn't do or have and she of course really enjoys showing me new things.

As far as, what the rest of the world thinks... f*ck 'em. It's your life. Live it in a way that makes you happy, or what's the point? In China, I've occasionally come across random (probably single) Chinese dudes who didn't seem to like the fact that I had come over here and "taken" one of "their" girls, but this is generally limited to a nasty look or a few unpleasant words grumbled under their breath. Nothing to get really upset over. As far as the Canadian perspective goes, I really can't imagine running into any worse problems, if any at all. In fact, in Canada, we're not really sure what a foreigner looks like. Well... except for those large groups of like-race people that get off a tour bus together and follow around a person with a flag all day. ;)

So yah, I got a little long winded there, but I guess all I really want to say is, if that's the relationship you want, then go for it. There will be trying times, but it's the same in any relationship.

date long and live together first. chinese women like to test the relationship, they all do it. sometimes they test it till it breaks. be prepared to be tested. you don't need to bow to all the crap. good thing about her testing the relationship is you get to know real quick what her long term expectations are. from what i can see the biggest fears are that you will desert them if they get fat, or sick, or when they get old. they are looking at the long game from day one.

haha, thanks for your advice

I had a couple friends lately, both Aussies and rather handsome, who went on a few dates that really never went past the first one. Except in one case. Why? The whole date conversation soon began revolving around "THE BABY"! In the one case I heard of where there was a follow up date the lady called my pal about three weeks later and told him she was sorry, and that she could not stop thinking of him and would he try one more time. He left the 2nd date after about ten minutes when the lady began saying stuff like "So, you don't like babies?" Chinese women need to leave marriage and babies out of the picture for a long time with western men, but it seems they are in a constant state of ovulation after a certain point in life and just can't control themselves.

BillDan, there is also the problem of parents of those who date - 2000 years of Confucianism has had them indoctrinated into the idea that what the planet really needs is more of their offspring, and that their offspring are morally, filially bound to have more offspring.

Having said that, however, it's important to remember that other ideologies perform the same function in other parts of the world, which, combined with modern scientific medicine, have created the current situation where there are more cars than parking places.

It's all pretty frightening.