Four years ago a was introduced to a nice young couple in Chu Xiong, they had just recently had a baby boy, we had dinner together with a large group of people, and that was the last I'd heard or seen of them.

I've recently been made aware of an appalling situation where this woman has been physically abused by her husband, apparently for a number of years, she has been hospitalised twice, and had her life threatened along with physical abuse and threatening with a knife their 4 year old son and there apparently is not a way of assisting this person.

The Chu Xiong Police say it's a family matter and should be resolved by the family, they can't get involved, the local "women's association" say "unless its more serious" they can't help.....does someone have to die first???

This woman has escaped to Kunming with the blessing (and some covert support) of her husband's family, as they feel she is in grave danger, she has left her son with his grandparents (husband's parents).

The man's family say they cannot control their son and are concerned he will cause serious harm to their daughter in law, so are hesitant to have her in the care of any of the relatives.

The violence and threats have all escalated since she asked for a divorce because of the constant battering she has received over recent years, and culminated in the threat and physical abuse of their son by his father.

I have read on another forum that there is no compassion for the precarious situation some people find themselves in by Chinese society; I cannot believe that there isn't an organisation in Kunming that can guide or help protect this poor woman.

If there is anyone in the expat community that has any information or contacts that I can pass on to help this person I would be very appreciative. Thank you for listening to my ranting, in know there are many people in difficult situations, but as I'm not there in China, this is one small thing that I can do to try and help.

Unfortunately, it's a domestic matter although some of the Christian organizations MAY offer assistance (any takers?). Only the very very rare Chinese will assist as this is an invitation to external trouble. There are also several NGOs, but don't know if they're into basic human rights protections.

At best, the local police can pay a visit, but they can only counsel the nutball. Like the USA - they're more effective at homicide - showing up to pick up the dead body and file reports. It's possible she can have the guy committed to a mental hospital - but that will reflect poorly on their child as it shows up in the family history.

Doesn't this woman have her own family and friends to depend upon or are they all as dead.

Thank you laotou for your concern and suggestions.

I understand that for the time being she is being cared for by some friends in Kunming (whom I work with), as all her family have independantly recieved a visit from her husband (or a "black association" person) looking for her, she is hesitant to place her family in harms way.

If there are any Christian Organisations, or NGO's that anyone knows of that may be able to help, or at least that I can contact on her behalf, that would be a great start.

I feel that I can't stand-by and watch this happen, especially as its the man's family that is asking for help for their daughter in law, which indicates something seriously has gone wrong with this young man, to the detriment of those he should hold dearest.

Get the local Kunming TV press involved. That often stirs up sentiment and then the Chinese microbloggers fan the flames until officials must do something to save face.

Remember, we only have one side of the story. I am also very wary if I pick up vibes that the victim card is being played. Especially in a culture where the truth is flexible. I have seen too much outrageous manipulation of people by distortion of the truth.

I am not taking sides, but simply stating we don't have all the facts. I refuse to take sides in cases like this, it is too easy.

Passing on information about support groups is a good thing to do here. Making judgements and being drawn in is not so wise.

@Dazzer
Spot on...you're DEFINITELY localized. Does stinky tofu smell like buttered popcorn to you yet?

It's not your family Frank, stay out of it, no one will thank you

@laotou ;-) Fragrant tofu

Thank you to all that took the time to reply to my post, fortunately there is a bit of positive progress, the woman and her child are in the safety of a charity organisation (in Kunming) and now living under their roof.... Affirmation that good and caring Chinese people do exist.

The organisation has engaged, and is managing legal counsel on her behalf, they have lobbied the local police at a higher level than she would ever have dreamed of getting to, and has been assured of her safety.

It was suggested that the "victim card is being played here" – damn right - broken teeth, split lip, blackened eyes and a knife wound was what convenience me she was a victim.

I'm not interested in the other details of why she became that way, I do know the photos I've seen and the fact some of it was done in a market place in Kunming and also in public in Chu Xiong, that's more than enough for me to do whatever I can to help (as little as it might really be).

No woman or child should be the subject of a man's rage and be abused in any way, this is just plain and simply wrong!

I'm not in China, I'm in Australia, I certainly would never look for, or accept any thanks, for what part I may have played in helping one woman and child, I encourage all of you to not turn a blind eye to another person's peril, one day it may be one of us requiring a helping hand.

I again thank you all for at least reading the post and your comments.

@Frankn
Very civilized of you to assist. Let's hope the child doesn't inherit his father's criminally sociopathic spoiled child behavior. In the USA, most people avoid directly assisting abuse victims as it's a vicious cycle. The victim feels worthless or distressed at the unknown and prefers to live in an abusive environment rather than bravely striking out on their own.

When the abusive partner explodes into a homicidal rage - all involved usually get dragged into the fray - as witnessed recently in the USA, when a seriously angry father took his daughter (divorce thing) and executed the caretakers while his wife was elsewhere.

Additionally - as abuse tends to be a cycle - compassionate people, friends, family extend their grace - only to have the victim return to the environment time and time again.